Posts tagged fall
You very brave mommas...

Oh my goodness. The backpacks and fresh hair cuts and first day of school outfits. My friends have the cutest back to school kids ever.

I swept my sleeping son out of his crib the other night and rocked him in our little white armchair. I smelled his hair and listened to him breath. And I tried to imagine sitting at our kitchen table helping him study for spelling tests or memorize capitol cities. I tried to picture baseball practice and a secret 8th grade girlfriend.

And I can't. I just can't.

I have a pretty clear picture of the next season. I can imagine our house filled with train tracks and legos, potty training, and forts made out of sheets and pillows. I can see us doing that. I can see Matt and Oliver wrestling and rolling around on the floor.

But spelling tests belong to a completely different person, in a completely different home, at a completely different kitchen table. Not ours, with avocado currently smeared across one of the chairs and a messy high chair tray set on top.

It's not that I don't want to picture it.

I just can't even fathom.

But I hear you, when you say time flies. And I believe you.

And so before nap time, I held him again, and we rocked and rocked. His sweaty hair stuck to his forehead, resting against my chest. Sleepy sighs. Twitching fingers. Lovey snugged up against his cheek.

And I thought of you mommas, sending your babies with their back packs and school supplies through a classroom door. And I thought how very brave you are. And I dedicated that rocking chair session to you, and to future me, sitting at the kitchen table with spelling words and pencils. Please keep reminding me how fast it goes.

I forget. I get lost in diapers and sippy cups and long afternoons. And I don't breath it in deeply enough.