Not so long... and also, a very long time
Three months is not so long... and also, it is a very long time. We had friends over for dinner tonight and they were asking us what we did with ourselves before Oliver was born. And for the life of me, I just could not remember. Whatever it was, it was not as great as this.
We are elbow deep in the middle of it... swimming it, drowning it, laughing until we cry in it.
It is diapers and paceies and swaddles and bottles. It is footie jammies and middle of the night feeds. It's cooing and squawking and toothless grins. It is red faced and screaming. It is tummy time and snuggle time. It is burp rags and spit up and diaper bags and strollers.
And we will not be here forever.
One day, very soon, so people tell me, it will be art projects and science fairs and costumes for the school play. It will be multiplication facts and spellings tests. It will be best friends, and hurt feelings and soccer games both won and lost. It will be trophies and time outs and pillow fights.
I want to breathe this in, this season.
I want to savor the smell of the top of his head and the feeling of his hand grasping my finger and the sight of him smiling at his daddy.
Savor, but not freeze.
Because I want to see who this little boy is becoming. I want to know what his voice sounds like, what his thoughts sound like and what happens inside his head. I want to learn what makes his heart beat and what stirs his soul. I want to learn what drives his curiosity and inspires his imagination.
And so, when I'm tempted to grieve as I fold newborn jammies and pack them in with clothes he will never wear again, I remember that I'm only beginning the journey of discovering all that he is becoming.
In celebration of three months, I'm posting a video of one second of (almost) every day of the not so long... and very long time, that this little boy has been living and breathing.
We love you son.